It’s all very well to say, “I’m going to be a happier person by the end of this year” but the question that comes up is this:
What the heck IS happiness, anyway?
That’s what I’ve been asking myself this week. What do I mean when I say “a happier person”? Who are my role models for such a state of being? Who do I know that I could ID as “A Happy Person”?
I have to tell you, it was pretty discouraging to run through my list of friends and acquaintances and reject each and every one of them. Not that everyone I know is depressed, or even actively UN-happy. In fact, most of the folks I know fall on the positive side of the scale.
What scale? Let's call it : The Happiness Scale
The Happiness Scale ranges from 1 - 100, where 1 is morbid depression and 100 is enlightened bliss. Happiness, let’s say, is around 80 or 85.
By the end of this 2019, I'd like to hang at around that level, most of the time at any rate. We all know that bad stuff happens sometimes, our worlds wobble and we wobble right along with it. None of us can expect to be in the 80-ish range ALL the time; most of the time would be fine with me.
I asked myself, “Who do I know that I could describe as A Generally Happy Person? Who can I take as my 80+ role model, someone I could study, whose ways-of-being I could emulate and adopt? Who???”
I didn’t get an answer. In fact, it wasn’t until today, as I sat here by the woodstove sipping my morning coffee and gazing into space, mulling on the once again, that a name popped out of the blue and into my mind: Dee! Dee’s the one.
Dee certainly appears to be a truly happy person. I’ve known her for some seven years, and although she has had some challenges in that time, I’ve never known her to express anything other than a happy, optimistic attitude: not in conversation, not in any of her stories from her past, not even via a post on Facebook! Amazing, right? Her behavior, her attitudes, her self-expression, are all those of a happy human being. Wow!
I have a confession to make: When I first met Dee, although I did like her, I also found myself feeling torn between disbelief (is she for real?) and nasty, vicious, horrible envy. She talked about her delightful family-of-origin, and all the good times she had growing up. Envy! She told us about her adventures and travels, about her hobbies, her successes, her projects, and the delights of retirement. (Did I mention that Dee’s a bit of a raconteur?) Every conversation I’ve ever had with Dee have been infused with the bubbly champagne of her vitality and enthusiasm. Even when she speaks of health challenges, even though she’s gone through death and other losses, her essential happiness never seems to desert her. Oh to be as Dee is!
I have a role-model now. I know what one Happy Person looks like, how she acts and speaks. I expect that there are other ways of expressing 80+-ness, and that my way will be somewhat different from Dee’s, but for now, I’m happy to have one person to emulate. I’m also on the search for others, so if you know any generally happy people, please take a few moments to describe them in COMMENTS, below. Thanks for the help.
Gratefully, Elaine H
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